Shattered Self
by Esprit D'escalier
Summary: Discontinued. After Raven's mirror breaks with her in it, her emotions and her come out, but since the emotions have no body of their own, they decide to use Raven's. Dedicated to RavenShadowsong. On longlong hold.
1. Breaking the Law

**This story is dedicated to my editor and friend Raven-Shadowsong. She has been reading my stories since I started writing them.**

**This is a remake of an old story I started, but it didn't quite make it... cough. I was happy writing it, but when I started getting TONS of reviews saying 'I don't understand!', I decided to read my story. Truth is, after I read it, I didn't understand it either... cough**

**Anyway, in this story Raven's mirror is broken while Raven is inside of it. Raven's emotions break free from the mirror, and so does Raven, but Raven's emotions don't have a body, so they eachtake control of her.**

**This story will have more than her emotions, it will have um... I don't quite know how to explain it, but I guess Intelligence would be an example (intelligence isn't really an emotion). So her traits I guess.**

After what happened yesterday Raven has been tense. It was just a normal call, like always, but something had happened that made it different.

Only her and Jinx knew what it was, unless Jinx told the two oaths, but still it happened.

Even though the titans knew only half the story, they knew enough. Raven refused to tell them anything more than what they had seen.

Her demon side had gotten loose because of what Jinx what.

_**FLASHBACK**_

_"That the best you can do?" asked Jinx in an amused voice. She had just been thrashed into a building, but she still kept her cool. This reminded Raven of someone she knew. That someone was herself._

_Raven was just getting as annoyed as possible now. "Listen, I am sure neither of us is really having fun battling for 45 minutes on end. So, how about you just let me kick your cotton candy head back to the wasp's nest?" she finished with a tormenting voice._

_"You would like that wouldn't you?" asked Jinx in a sly voice. "Always one to like things quick and simple."_

_"There isn't one thing in my life that is plain and simple." Raven retorted back, her voice dripping with venom._

_Jinx walked closer, and surprisingly, Raven let her. "Oh really? Seems easy to me, meditate, eat, sleep, and let demon father take over every once in a while."_

_That was when Raven freaked, if Jinx thought that being half demon was simple, then she would show her. _

_She grew two more eyes and then disappeared from view as black energy crept out from under her cloak. The dark energy from her hood crept around Jinx's now shaking body._

_Raven loved it, Jinx was terrified, and that was exactly why Raven loved it._

_**FLASHBACK END**_

The dark bird was now sitting on her bed, she was thinking about what happened after she had Jinx in her grasp. She felt ashamed, yet somewhat guiltily glad she had done it.

_**FLASHBACK**_

_A flying disk shot out towards her, it hit her right in the side and the black energy disappeared, leaving only a shaken pink haired girl where it used to be. _

_The blue cloaked girl on the other hand, fell and disappeared before she hit the ground. She had teleported to the tower._

_**FLASHBACK END**_

She was in her room when she arrived, and hadn't left since.

She was getting kind of hungry, though she didn't worry about it. Most demons didn't need to eat, and since she was half-demon, she only needed to eat about half as much as humans.

Her friends sometimes seemed to worry if she was starving herself, then they would see how powerful whe was when fighting, and stop worrying.

She only worried about concentrating on meditation. Which seemed kind of useless right now.

That was when she looked over to the first drawer down on her dresser.

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In the main room of the tower four friends, Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, and Cyborg sat on a curved couch facing the TV.

Cyborg and Robin were playing a fighting game, which involved future looking robots blasting each other with guns.

Beast Boy was dazed out and watching the game, but not really paying attention to it. He was waiting for his turn to play against the winner.

Starfire was leaning against the couch from behind, and she had her head in her hands. Like Beast Boy, she was watching the game but not paying attention. She wasn't waiting for her turn to play though, she was thinking about a certain dark girl locked up in her room._ How can she like it up there in her room? It is dark, scary and it even has statues with faces of the horror. I like books too, but I think it is better to share the stories with your friends, not stay in your room with hardly any light and read them._

_Maybe not I can go up and see if she is the all right? Or maybe another team member can go see?_

Starfire had been asking her friends since they got home if she could go up and check and see if they were 'the alright'. She had been about to go up and check on her, and then they stopped her, which led to lots and lots of asking.

"May we go see if friend Raven is alright?" asked the overly friendly alien, Starfire.

"No." replied the boy wonder, Robin.

"May _I_ go see if friend Raven is alright?" asked the Starfire.

"No." replied Beast Boy.

"May friend Beast Boy go see if friend Raven is alright like a fly, so she doesn't know?" asked Starfire.

"No." replied the half robot, Cyborg.

Starfire sat on the couch bored to death by watching them. "May I bring some food up for friend Raven?"

"No!" all three said in unison.

Robin then attempted to explain. "Listen, she wants to be alone, you know her. She will be okay." Star opened her mouth again but Cy cut her off.

"She won't get lonely Star."

"I don't think she _does_ lonely Cy, remember?" said Beast Boy in an unamused voice.

"Oh, just leave her alone you two," replied Robin. "You two can be just as stubborn sometimes."

"I am not!" yelled Beast Boy and Cyborg in unison. "It's always him," they both pointed at each other, "and his stupid arguing about the food we eat!"

"Friends! Please stop fighting! This will not help friend Raven!"

"Nothing will help her, she's psychotically insane." mumbled Beast Boy.

"Then should not one of us go up there and make sure she is okay?" Starfire asked in a high pitched voice, which to some people could be considered a scream.

Beast Boy grimaced and pulled his hands over his face. He mumbled a soft and monotone "no" that could match even Raven's tone.

Starfire sighed and sat down on the couch.

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Raven got up off her bed and headed towards the dresser. She pulled out her drawer. Then she pulled out her mirror. She looked at the black mirror, with it's dark and gothic designs.

A midnight black hand came out of the mirror. It glowed with a white aura, and it seemed to have white electricity running through it. The palm was face up to the ceiling, as if it was waiting for a check or a tip.

She had to find out why she was getting so angry so easily. This had been the second time this week, the first time none of the titans had seen her though. She was walking down the street when a fan boy had rushed up to her and asked for her autograph. Raven was annoyed, but she always gave her autograph if only a person or two asked. If it was a big crowd she just said she was busy and left. Usually if there was a big crowd she had to fly away or teleport.

She gave him his autograph, and he was so happy, that he actually hugged her. He hugged HER, Raven, and she was not too pleased with this.

She didn't go killing him, or even injuring him, but she did disintegrate the autograph, and ten or so trashcans in an alleyway nearby exploded.

Raven put her hand gently on the glowing hand, like a lady who was going to dance with a gentleman. Instead, she started to glow the same colour of the hand, and she felt herself slowly slipping away into the mirror.

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It was about 9:00 PM when Starfire said she was tired and went upstairs, she had no idea what time Raven went to sleep at, but she wanted to give her the 'Pudding of Cheering Up' before she went to sleep. She was not about to disturb Raven when she was asleep.

She went into the elevator and clicked on the number for her floor. She had decided earlier, while she was cooking, that she would go to her floor then walk to Raven's room. If any of the titans noticed that she was going to Raven's room they would stop her.

Beast Boy came into the elevator and Starfire stuck her hands behind her back. She walked backwards into the corner of the elevator so he wouldn't be able to see it.

He pressed the button for his floor and she let out a small sigh that she desperately hoped he did not happen to hear it.

The elevator doors closed and she felt the familiar feeling that the elevator gave. She closed her eyes and tried to relax a little bit.

She snook a peak at Beast Boy, he was staring at her. Her face instantly turned red. Beast Boy thankfully turned away and she relaxed a little.

She heard the ding of the elevator and Beast Boy walked out.

The next floor was hers and she hurried down the hallway once the doors opened, she reached the stairwell and flew up two more floors to Raven's floor.

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Beast Boy had watched Starfire quickly leave the room, in her hand was a bowl full of brown goop that looked like pudding, only it had little red round things sticking out of it. It looked like someone had tossed marbles into the bowl.

Wait a second... did one of those marbles just move? Beast Boy tried not to shudder, her food was gross enough as it was without having to look at it.

Beast Boy started to wonder about why she was taking it with her. She always ate her food downstairs, unless it was for Silky, but ever since the zorkaberry incident she had not been allowed to feed him alien food.

Usually she tried to force her friends to eat the food. _Wait... Raven is her friend too, maybe she's going to give it to Raven..._

Beast Boy said he was tired to Cyborg and Robin and followed Starfire to the elevator, she stared at him and hid her hands behind her back. He pressed the button for his floor and she let out a small sigh.

He saw her close her eyes and noticed she was now in the corner of the elevator and still had her hands behind her back. He turned and stared at her in wonder, she was acting so weird. Maybe he did have something to be suspicious of.

She opened her eyes and she saw him staring at her. Her orange face turned a deep red and Beast Boy looked away.

Beast Boy opened his mouth to ask her a question, but changed his mind when he heard the elevator ding. It was his floor.

He walked out and waited for the familiar sound of the doors closing before turning into a peregrine falcon and zooming down the hallway towards the stairwell. He turned into an elf just long enough to open the doors then turned back into the bird and flew up to Starfire's floor.

He saw her flying down the hallway and turned into a mosquito and followed her as she flew up two floors, which happened to be Raven's floor.

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She reached the door of Raven's room and stared at the letters on the door. She knew they were pink underneath the black paint, since she had picked them out herself. Raven had gotten Starfire to pick them out for her earlier when the titans had gone shopping because Robin insisted they had their names on their door for some reason or another.

Starfire raised her hand to knock, then lowered it down to her side. She raised her hand to knock again, then lowered her hand down to her side again. She raised her hand yet again, and then took a big breath.

Deep Breath in.

Deep breath out.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

She knocked her hand on the door quietly then held onto the pudding with both of her hands. She figured Raven would start yelling, and she did not want to drop it and look like a fool.

When she heard no sound from the other side she just stood there and waited.

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Beast Boy made it to Raven's door just in time to see Starfire knock. He turned into elf form. "What are you doing?"

"Eeep!" Starfire screamed and dropped the pudding on the floor. "I- I was uh... headed to get a mop to clean up the pudding!" With that said she started to fly towards the stairwell.

Beast Boy turned in a gorilla and stood in the hallway blocking the exit.

"Or not!" Starfire squeaked and backed away.

Beast Boy turned back into an elf. "You were trying to talk to Raven, weren't you?" He did not sound harsh or anything, but he could tell that she was a bit nervous.

"I- I- I... Yes..." Starfire sighed. "But she is so alone here in her room! I thought she would like some 'Pudding of Cheering Up'.

Beast Boy stared down at the brown goop on the floor. He saw a red marble thing crawling towards his foot on her wire legs and he backed up a bit. "That's pudding?" he asked in a rhetorical way.

Starfire nodded. "Raven has not yet opened up the door, I think she might be gone!" Starfire said, she didn't yell but she seemed to be worried.

Beast Boy sighed and gave in. "Okay, you can go in, but I'm going with you and do not touch anything! There's a reason why Raven doesn't allow people into her room!" Beast Boy shuddered at the memory of being sucked into her mirror.

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Starfire opened the door to Raven's room and wandered in, for some reason Raven had not reset the lock. Why would she not be in her room while the door was open? Maybe she was coming right back? Maybe something had happened to her?

"She's not in her, let's go," Beast Boy quietly whispered after taking a quick glance around the room. It was if he thought she would appear at any second and kill them. Then again, Starfire thought that too.

Starfire turned around and quickly rushed towards the door along with Beast Boy, her side hit something and she quickly placed one hand on her mouth to keep from making a sound. Her other hand rushed down to grab her side.

In her hurry she didn't notice that a desk was right beside her. Her hand hit something on the desk and she heard a sound of something sliding off of it, then a crash and a shatter. She looked down and saw that she had broken a mirror.

It was bad enough that she was going to have bad luck for a few years, but she was more worried about living for a few years. If that mirror meant anything to Raven, which it probably had seeing as she didn't keep much that didn't, then Starfire was going to get in big trouble.

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Beast Boy turned around, he heard a shatter and expected Raven to be right behind him. He expected Raven's powers to have broken something in her rage with them, but he couldn't see anyone except Starfire.

Starfire was staring at the ground and he turned his gaze to look at what she was looking at.

A mirror.

Not just any mirror though, _Her_ mirror.

And it was broken.

"Starfire, that is _not_ good."


	2. Confessing

**Okay, it has been forever since I updated, but I lost all interest in this story. I never completely forgot about it though. This chapter is mainly a fill-in chapter to make up for the fact that I didn't really do much.**

**You'll get to see how Raven really is when I next update, which probably won't take seven months again. Hopefully.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Helena Valentine for simply reviewing.**

**This story is dedicated to Raven-Shadowsong.**

* * *

Beast Boy laid in bed tossing and turning, he couldn't stop thinking about when he was in Raven's room that day.

He was not feeling guilty or anything, but he could not stop thinking about what Raven was going to do to him once she found out he had broken it.

_Wait a second... why am I scared? I didn't break it, Starfire did! But... I can't just go blaming it on her. I did let her go into Raven's room, and I even went with her._

_I'm dead!_

Beast Boy's night was filled with horrors of what would happen once Raven found out he was part of it. He imagined her to do something like one hundred one ways to torture a green elf.

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Starfire was also tossing and turning in bed, but she wasn't scared, she imagined Raven to understand her once she explained she had broken it. What was keeping her awake was the fact that she had broken her mirror and had not told her yet.

She kept thinking about how Raven would be upset that she had not told her sooner.

_I bet she will be crying by the time I tell her! She will probably be so upset that someone was mean enough to break her mirror and not tell her! Oh! I hope she understands that we could not find her after I broke it._

_Then again... we never exactly looked for her..._

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Beast Boy kept on thinking until he fell asleep. Even then his dreams were filled with horrible scenarios.

_**Beast Boy got up the next morning and jumped out of bed. He walked over to the mirror and grabbed his comb. He started to brush his hair. **I am such a handsome devil -er angel! No, wait. Which one is the cool one again?_

_**He changed his clothes and ran downstairs so he could make everybody a tofu breakfast before the bucket of bolts could make them a breakfast fit for a vampire.**_

_**He ran into the common room, and ran towards the fridge. He was stopped when a glowing black wall popped up in front of him. He ran straight into it.**_

_**"Oof!" he mumbled before falling backwards onto the floor. "Uh... dude!" yelled beast Boy. "That hurt, ya know!"**_

_**It was only then that he remembered something - Raven's powers were black and glowing. Raven was probably pissed at him because she thought he broke her mirror. Raven was going to be the death of him.**_

_**"Eeep!" he shrieked in a girlish voice. He tried to run but a chain of black energy had been put around his neck. "Uh oh..."**_

_**"Uh oh is right." Hissed the evil Raven as she yanked on his chain to choke him. "We have some talking to do, but I'll think I'll do it with a séance."**_

_**Beast Boy gulped.**_

_**"Azasomething Metrionis Zinthy!" yelled the dark and scary girl.**_

_**The chain around Beast Boy's neck began to slowly choke him, and the more he pulled on it, the tighter it got.**_

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Meanwhile, Starfire was also having bad dreams. It seemed that no matter what, there was always something she said that upset Raven.

**_Starfire woke up to a bright and sunny morning. She opened her window so she could breath in the fresh air. Birds flew over to her windowsill and started singing a song for her._**

_**She twirled around for a while and she grabbed her hairbrush. Her beautifully long red hair gleamed in the sunshine.**_

_**She opened her bedroom door and pranced down the hallway. The sunshine shown through the glass wall facing the city.**_

_**She pressed the button for the elevator and walked in.**_

_**The elevator made a beautiful dinging sound as it opened its doors to the main room.**_

_**All her friend's were there. Robin with his hair spiked up in such a handsome way. His hair containing so much gel it gleamed.**_

_**Beast Boy with his front tooth sticking out of his mouth. He was smiling happily as he and Cyborg played a racing game.**_

_**Cyborg's whole body shone from the sunlight reflecting off of it. He had a smile on his face as he raced Beast Boy.**_

_**Raven was in the corner, reading. Her book shone instead of her though.**_

_**Starfire went over to her and asked what she was reading.**_

_**"'100 Ways to Deal with Friends who Keep Secrets from You'" she quoted.**_

_**"Oh" Starfire said, realizing that she knew about the mirror. "I am sorry friend Raven."**_

_**Raven looked Starfire's way. She was crying. Crying. "You never told me about it! Why didn't you? You kept it a secret from me."**_

_**Starfire tried and tried to make her stop crying, but she would not. All she did was cry harder and harder the more Starfire tried to talk to her.**_

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"Ahhh!" screamed Beast Boy. He was sitting up in bed now, having just woken up. He shudders.

He looks around his room. He is on the top bunk of his bed, and he can see all the trademarks of his bedroom. The dresser with the clapping monkey on it. The desk in the corner covered up by empty pizza boxes. The clothes and moving stuff on his floor.

Beast boy sighs. "Heh heh... dream... just a dream." He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.

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Beast Boy and Starfire stare at each other as they both raise a hand to knock on Raven's door.

They both giggle nervously, and bring their hands down at the same time.

No reply.

"She must be sleeping. It is very late at night! Perhaps we should also go and sleep, and talk to her when she has awakened!" Starfire cut in, trying to sound cheery.

"He he. Yeah, maybe."

Both of them seemed to rethink that option.

"Actually, there's no time like the, uh... There's no time like the now!" Beast Boy said, realizing he would never be able to go to sleep with the thoughts of his nightmare.

Starfire seemed to be thinking that too, and she nodded in agreement.

They both pressed the open button on the door, which was still not locked, and stepped inside.

Raven was staring at them with glowing eyes, and a big, deep, Starfire, smile on her face.


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